I have said it before and I am going to say it again; this world is over-flowing with ignorant people. I know this, yet I am still sometimes amazed at how moronic these people can be. Before I go on to my discovery of today's idiots, I would like to say that I am an animal lover. I have several pets and I love to spoil them. But even I know where to draw the line, unlike the people I am going to tell you about.
It seems that upscale pet hotels are open in New York, Hollywood and Fairfax County, Va., where the Olde Towne Pet Resort charges up to $230 a day for their dogs to be pampered. While enjoying their stay at this all inclusive resort, pups have use of a hydrotherapy pool, state-of-the-art exercise room, beauty parlor and suites with satellite TV, classical music and original, color-pleasing artwork. Um, do these morons not know that dogs are color blind? What the hell do they need with color pleasing art? Let's say hypothetically that dogs can see in color. Does anyone honestly believe that dogs know the difference between art and a pile of their own barf? Do they think these dogs look at these pieces of art and long for one of them to hang on the wall of their dog house? The pool may as well be one giant water bowl. The last time one of my dogs attempted their fate at swimming, she freaked the fuck out. Dogs in general do not prefer to swim, even if the water is warm and they have tiny bubbles going up their butts. Then they offer an exercise room. If your dogs need to exercise, get off your lazy ass, grab a leash and go for a walk with your dog, or at the very least, open the door and let them go run. Dogs have absolutely no use for treadmills, weight machines, sweat bands and water bottles. That's all shit dogs love to chew up. Dogs tend to have a short attention span. You can talk to them and yell at them all you want, but they don't listen long before they're off to poop somewhere. What makes these people think that these dogs will sit through music? If they were to sit through it, how do they know which dogs prefer rock and which prefer rap? I'm sure not all dogs are content with classical music. The satellite TV is yet another waste. Dogs don't have the attention span to sit and watch TV all day. So why give them satellite? You can put it on a channel that is nothing but snow and they would never know the difference. Dogs see a TV and look at it as something to hike their leg on. I also love how they give them a beauty parlor. Do Muffy and Buffy sit under hair dryers, reading the National Enquirer while their perms and color treatments set in? Do they discuss all the things their grandpuppies chewed up this week? These places also include gourmet food, heated dog beds, acupuncture and chiropractic treatments, herbal flea collars, water bowls with purifiers and mud packs straight from the Dead Sea. Gourmet food? Dogs don't have taste buds! They can only taste whether something is sweet, sour, salty, spicy or savory. Gourmet food for creatures who eat their own poop, their friends' poop, lick their own butts and their friends' butts? Heated beds for animals that have their own built in fur coats! I'm sure dogs love acupuncture. What dog wouldn't love to have a human poke needles into their bodies? The last time I saw a dog get poked by anything, it wasn't pretty. They tend to become very defensive and very angry. Chiropractors can't do shit for humans and we can actually verbalize to them what is hurting us. There's a reason why dogs are built the way they are. They were once wild animals who fended for themselves in the middle of nowhere. Their bones are not like our's and neither are their muscles. Dogs were created with a "feature" that allows for them to heal themselves of many injuries and they were also included with a "feature" that does not allow for them to get sore muscles. Dogs don't even have the ability to choke. Their throats open to allow them to swallow anything. The only thing they can "choke" on is a chicken bone because chicken bones splinter. But there weren't wild chickens where wild dogs ever were, so it was not of concern. Now we have water bowls with purifiers- purifiers for dogs who eat shit and have a favorite past time of licking butts. There isn't anything I haven't seen a dog eat. They eat dirt for fuck's sake. Why purify their water? Open the toilet lid and your dog will feel like it's in heaven. Herbal flea collars, like medicated flea collars, are torture for a dog. You know what happens when you put a flea collar on a dog? The fleas part from the neck and either head to their back or more often than not, they gather on the dog's head. So dogs end up spending their days scratching at their heads, usually catching a claw and cutting their eye or cutting their ears because the fleas have gone inside to get away from the collars. The mud packs really get me. Forget where the mud is from. Most dog owners I know dread seeing dirt because dogs love to go roll in it and become a muddy mess. Dogs smell bad enough without packing them with mud. If you want your dog to have a healthy coat and healthy skin, buy them food with vitamin E, or give them vitamin E capsules. People not only fall for this shit, but they pay up to $230 per day for this. They may as well give their dogs the cash to chew up. At least the dogs would find some pleasure in that. Better yet, these owners should take that money and invest it into some fucking therapy or maybe donate it to the homeless or some other worthwhile charity. Some people should never own pets, especially if the pets are smarter than their humans.
