I was reading sommer�s entry recently. Her entry included the ABC�s of things that suck. I asked her if I could borrow the idea since my brain has given me its 2-week notice. Sommer graciously agreed. Thank you Sommer. So, with little thought, I present to you my own ABC list of things that suck, bite and just flat out piss me off.
A-Abscessed tooth. I don�t wish one of these on my worst enemy.
B-Buccaneers winning the super bowl bites. I am not a Raiders fan, but I prefer them to the Bucs any day.
C-Cell phones. I hear these constantly going off in restaurants, movie theaters, bookstores, etc. I swear, there needs to be a class taught on cell phone etiquette.
D-Dentists suck. This sort of goes with the abscessed tooth, but I feel it important to mention the dentist as well. Why? Because they would rather make a shit load of money off of you than do what you know would be best for your own good. And since many insurance companies consider dental procedures to be cosmetic rather than medical, you�re left with little to no options. Next time someone comes up to me and asks why I am not smiling, I am going to hand them my $16,000 dental bill and explain to them that if they want to see my pearly whites, they can buy them for me.
E-Exercise bites. One day this form of exercise is good for you, the next day it�s not. It�s all lethal as far as I am concerned.
F-Flies. What the hell is the point of flies? They spend their entire lives (3 whole days) eating shit and flying up everyone�s nose and in their food. Someone tell me what their purpose is besides irritating the fuck out of me.
G-Gay. The homosexuals took a perfectly decent word and turned it into something sinister. No, I am not homophobic; I just don�t like them.
H-Hair in my food. There is nothing worse than swallowing a bite of food, only to feel a strand of hair creeping its way down my throat, especially when there is no way to determine the origins of the hair and all you can do is pray that it came from the head and not elsewhere.
I-Ignorant people bite, suck and piss me off. These people at some point in their life have to know that they aren�t the brightest bulb in the factory and feel the desire to do something about it. Ignorance should be painful.
J-Junk food. Why does it have to taste so good and be so readily available? Why can�t health food taste half as good?
K-Kmart sucks. They bring in Martha Stewart�s products, yet cater to those who can�t afford her shit. And they ask why they�re in trouble? DUH!
L-Liposuction sucks- get it? Ha ha? No? I tried.
M-Mayonnaise sucks, smells and tastes like a tumor; or so I�ve heard.
N-Nirvana sucks, bites and pisses me off. I hate them and I hate their music. Put it to rest already!
O-Orange County sucks. I went down to San Diego last weekend and you know what? I loved it. It�s a different world down there. It is so much better than here. I actually saw white people and they spoke English! The music stations were playing hard rock and heavy metal. And best of all, you could see the stars in the sky.
P-Periods. I�ve said before and I�ll say it again- periods suck!
Q- Quizzno�s sucks. They have no flavor to their sandwiches and they are too over priced.
R-Raiders fans. The raiders lost the super bowl, so the fans decided they wanted to be a bunch of losers as well. They caused a riot, burned down cars, threw glass bottles at the police and a number of other idiotic things. The thing is, this is the exact behavior they would have displayed had the Raiders won.
S-Spiders suck. Actually, they bite. Ha ha. No? Fuck you. Anyway, I have arachnophobia. I hate spiders. I hate the way they look, crawl, hide in your bed and spin webs that entangle you every time you walk by.
T-Television sucks. During 5 minutes of television viewing on a Sunday morning, I saw partial nudity, vomiting, cartoons and animals eating one another. What the hell is wrong with the minds of people who decide what should be aired and at what time it should be aired? Do they have no decency? No morals? No taste? No common fucking sense?
U-Urban living sucks. I think I�d be better off living on my own mountain.
V-Victoria�s Secret sucks. Their bras only go to a size 38DD, which means I can�t buy their bras. That sucks because some of their stuff is so cute!
W-Whiners suck, bite and piss me off. If you don�t like how things are going for you, change it. Don�t go whining to someone who has no control over your life. Don�t ask for advice that you know you will not take.
X- Xylophobia sucks. Where the hell do you live if you�re xylophobic?
Y-Yamaha sucks. Can they make anything right?
Z-Zealous people suck. Can you ever mellow out? Can you try?
