You know, being bored to tears can drive you to do some pretty stupid things. Well, today I was bored, so I did something stupid. I visited a few websites, discovered a few things about myself and the world around me.
I took the ACT Test at psychetest.com and it says that I am:
*Serious
*Demanding; a perfectionist
*Nervous, worries a lot, pessimistic
*Emotional
*Strong results orientation
*Sets very high, perhaps unrealistic goals
*Believes in hard work and expects it of others
*Likes to play devil's advocate
*Assertive and passionately persuasive
*Independent and rebellious
*Controlling, forceful, pushy � quick tempered, abrupt, argumentative
*Driven, impatient, an intense sense of urgency
*Resists input from others
*More competitive than cooperative; not the profile of a team player
*Sarcastic, may say or do things that hurts others feelings
*Opinionated and inflexible: sees issues as black and white
*Fault-finding; may focus more on problems than solutions
Um, they say that like it�s a bad thing. It also said that I was a self absorbed bad listener, but anyone who knows me, knows that is definitely not the case. I then continued on in my search for knowledge. In doing so, I discovered what I had suspected all long; Barney is Satan. This is how we come to this conclusion:
1) Start with the given: CUTE PURPLE DINOSAUR
2) Change all U's to V's (which is proper Latin anyway): CVTE PVRPLE DINOSAVR
3) Extract all Roman Numerals: C V V L D I V
4) Convert into Arabic values: 100 5 5 50 500 1 5
5) Add all the numbers: 666
Thus, Barney is Satan.
My brain still didn�t feel full from the food of knowledge I was feeding it, so I continued on. I learned that:
*When you sneeze, all your bodily functions stop, even your heart.
*Your stomach needs to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it would digest itself.
*Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age.
*Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people do.
*Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.
*Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
*The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.
*You share your birthday with at least 9 million other people in the world.
*More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.
*Feb 1865 and Feb 1999 are the only months in recorded history not to have a full moon.
*More than 2,500 left handed people are killed every year from using right handed products.
*If you multiply 111,111,111 by 111,111,111, you get 12,345,678,987,654,321.
*40% of all polls taken are incorrect.
Have you ever watched a pigeon walk and notice how its head is constantly moving? Well, it does this to prevent from tipping because it�s legs are set far apart for its body. It moves its chest forward in time with one leg, and its head forward in time with the other leg, thus preventing a tripping pigeon. They also have monocular vision and bobbing helps with its depth perception. I always thought it was because they are black.
I have also discovered something that has mystified humans for decades; the actual lyrics of �Louie, Louie.�:
"Louie Louie, me gotta go. Louie Louie, me gotta go. A fine little girl, she wait for me. Me catch the ship across the sea. I sailed the ship all alone. I never think I'll make it home. Louie Louie, me gotta go . Three nights and days we sailed the sea. Me think of girl constantly. On the ship, I dream she there. I smell the rose in her hair. Louie Louie, me gotta go. Me see Jamaican moon above. It won't be long me see me love. Me take her in my arms and then I tell her I never leave again. Louie Louie, me gotta go."
Um, what kinda drugs were these fucks on?
Have you ever wondered what my page would sound like if I was a moron?
Sensing that my search for knowledge was leading me nowhere, I decided to take one last trip. I went to deathclock.com. This is a site that has you fill in your birthday, sex and life style, (i.e., normal, pessimist, optimist, sadist). They then come back with day, month and year in which you will die. They then covert this into seconds so that you can literally count down the seconds to your own demise. 1,643,696,901 left to go.
I need to get a life and apparently I only have 52 years left to do so.
