What a somber day. I�m not referring to the war; I don�t even care about that right now. I have to take Beavis, my poor little kitty, to the vet today. He has had something wrong with his eye for a few weeks. Initially I thought it was just stubborn mucus build up, but no matter what I have done for it, it stays the same. I think he may have gotten a foxtail stuck in it. Artemisia believes this may be the case as well. This is a catch 22. If that�s what it is, then there is some relief there in knowing that it�s not a disease. But if the foxtail has worked its way too deeply in his eye, then he will more than likely need surgery to remove it. Do we even have the means for this kind of surgery? God, I hope so. I am taking him to the Humane Society. They are affordable and so far have been better for my pets than a regular vet. I am literally petrified right now. I am not a people-person. I tend to be drawn to animals. So my pets aren�t really pets to me at all; they�re my family, my babies. I have such a strong bond with Beavis. I don�t know what I�d do if anything were to happen to him. He is such a humanoid in the way he acts and communicates with Dean and me. God, I�ll die if anything happens to him. He wraps his furry little body around my head at night and sleeps using my cheek as his pillow, or he�ll take his paws and massage my back or head. He has completely taken over my altar, so thanks to Artemisia, he is now known as my little Gargoyle. It�s funny to watch him scope it out, and if he spots something he doesn�t want on my, excuse me, his altar, he has no problem throwing it off. If one of us is sitting here at the computer desk and Beavis is feeling ignored, he stands up and taps us on the arm until we look at him. I mean he literally taps us as another person would. He�ll then proceed to chastise us. As a matter of fact, he is supervising this entry as I speak because he was feeling neglected. Actually, he�s comforting me because I have been freaking out and crying all morning because I am scared to death. He knows something is wrong. OK, calm down. It�ll be fine. He�s strong and loved more than anything. But what if that isn�t enough?