Sommer has informed me that it has been at least 28 days since I have updated. Apparently Sommer didn't see my guest book signing where I explained that my Windows ME decided to go fuck itself. Dammit, Sommer! Pay attention!
Since I am doing an update, that must mean that my computer problems have been smoothed out. Not a chance. I just finally found my password, so now I can update from anywhere. Gotta love technology. But don't worry, with a little luck, it will be fixed within this coming week. I hope. I may actually have a semi-exciting update for my lovely fans to read until then, assuming any of you still come back to check. Yes, Sommer, I know you still do. So, what is this semi-exciting update, you ask? Well, after almost 2 years of trying, I am finally pregnant! As of today, I am only 9 weeks along. In one sense, it feels like I have come a long way, yet in another, it feels like I still have a long way to go. I found out about 3 weeks ago. At first I was pretty much emotionless. I think I may have felt that way because it didn't seem real, especially after alomst 2 unsuccessful years. Then I became scared, nervous and very unsure of things, to the point where I considered not keeping it. But after I got over the initial shock and the fear, I fell in love with my baby and knew without a doubt that nothing could make me give it up. It's still very surreal to me, but I know it's here and I know I want it more than anything. I am still waiting for the day when it hits me. It's amazing to me that after such a short time, so many changes are occurring. I already have morning sickness, for fuck's sake. Of course my morning sickness is morning, noon and night. And as all of you know, I have a severe fear of vomiting. So I try to be very careful of what I eat so that I don't upset this picky little thing inside of me. I am going through food cravings and aversions. I don't crave crazy shit like pickles and ice cream, but when this baby wants something, I better get it what it wants. It no longer matters what I want. I can't eat anything from Carl's Jr. It doesn't approve of pizza and I can forget my morning cup of coffee. It likes espresso, just not regular drip coffee. Hearing the words Burger King upsets it. Seeing a salad on TV upsets it. Sometimes it wants to make me sick even when I have nothing in my stomach to make me sick. 31 weeks to go. Hopefully this sickness crap will be short lived like it's supposed to be. I am not showing and I have only gained a couple pounds, but my waist line has expanded, so now my clothes are beginnning to fit too tight. My boobs are becoming my enemies because they hurt so bad sometimes. And it doesn't help when you have a boyfriend who thinks that your boobs are there for his taking at any given moment. I become fatigued very easily. And the mood swings...well, let's just not go there. All I can say is God help those who have to put up with me.
My grandmother was the first one to buy my baby something. She bought it a recieving blanket, a stuffed animal, the tiniest socks I have ever seen, wash cloths and one of those little hooded towels. She also bought me a baby book.
Today, I decided I would take a stab at shopping for my baby. I do not recommend this for first time mothers. I found my way to the baby aisles and immediately the conniption began. Where do I start? What does it need the most of? Clothes and sleepers. Buying these things are very difficult when you do not know the sex of your baby. It seems they no longer make gender neutral clothing. You either buy for a boy or for a girl. They didn't even have anything in plain white! I finally did find some body suits in neutral colors and some socks to match. Then I remembered that my baby is due on December 18, so I needed to look for something much warmer. I searched again and finally found one little sleeping outfit. Now, I don't have a problem with spending money on my baby, but $20 dollars for one sleeping outfit?! I was at Target, for crying out loud! With as many articles of clothing a baby needs and goes through, that was just a tad steep for one little thing. My mood wasn't getting any better. So I decided to go get some bottles. Yes, bottles and no, I am not going to breast-feed. Well, after this one pregnant bitch decided to make room for me in what was apparently her aisle, I found the bottles. Good God. It's even difficult finding decent bottles. Then when you do find them, you have to lay on the floor to look for the bottles that are for babies 0-3 months. I bought 2 6-packs. I hope I got the right bottles. Does anyone one know why they make different sizes? Then I decided to look for pacifiers. I am still on the fence as far as pacifiers go. If they are not a necessary part in forming and strengthening my baby's mouth, then I do not want it to have one. I do not know the answer to this yet, but I decided to get 2 of them just in case I do give my baby pacifiers. Besides, all you have to do is find a cute one and you're done. No worries, no hassles. Ha ha. Wrong. You have to not only deicide on colors, but you have to decide on size, shape, nipple color and material. You have to look at the age range and decided if you want one with or without maximum airflow. Maximum airflow? Why is this an option? Are there parents out there who find it best to cut back on their baby's airflow? What else does this little demon spawn need? More blankets of course. This will definately be easy. And it was, after spending 20 minutes looking through them to find something that wasn't pink or blue. I finally found a 4-pack. Then I remembered that it will need those little mittens so that it doesn't scratch its face up. They had 2 choices; Winnie the Pooh, which I refuse to get my baby and these little ugly white things that actually had a thumb hole! First of all, I don't want to get my baby in the habit of thumb-sucking and secondly, can it not still scratch its face with that one exposed nail? So I skipped those for the time being. The only thing that gave me no troubles was the damn bottle brush. My grandma reminded me that I can always come back after I find out its sex, which should make things a little easier and she reminded of that wonderful thing called a baby shower. Thank God for those. But all in all, it was OK.
So, there's my update. If I bored you, too bad, so sad. This is what I have been up to and this is what I have to share. I'm pregnant. Oh my God, I am pregnant.