No, I am still not quite back as of yet. We took the computer in to have it fixed and were told just to call HP and have them send out our recovery disks and that should be the fix-all to everything. Seems a little too simple to me, but we'll see.
I just read my guest book and realized that I have received less responses to my news about being pregnant than I did on my cockroach entry. Is there something wrong with you people? Do you not realize how big this news really is? I was hoping for a little more excitement and happiness from all of you. Is that really too much to ask?I mean, geeze, I'd be happy if this were any of you. I take that back; there are a few of you for whom news like this would be a little scary. But for the rest of you, I'd be happy. Maybe you just need a little more time for it to sink in. It didn't sink in to me for a while. Hell, it still hasn't fully settled into me yet. It has to the point where I love sharing the news with anyone who will listen and to the point where I have been on 3 shopping sprees for it in less than a week. But I guess until this baby arrives, it's going to remain something too good to be true.
I have my first real prenatal visit is this Friday. I have been to one, but that visit consisted of the confirmation of my pregnancy and finding out my expected due date. I have never been so worried about someting as I am about this first doctor visit. I am dreading hearing that something, anything, is wrong. I don't know if this is a legitimate fear or a fear every mother has because it's in our nature from the day of the conception. I have always had it in my head that being pregnant is the most natural, most beautiful, most exciting time a woman can experience. Don't get me wrong, I still think that, but I am also finding that it is also the most fightening experience, at least to me it is. I have heard a lot of expectant mommies talk about how their biggest fear is how drastically their life will change once their baby has arrived. They worry about being a good mommy and they worry about how how this will effect their financial stability. And while these are all legitimate concerns, this is not where my concern lies. What worries me the most, what scares me the most, is not knowing if I am going to be able to carry this baby to term. I have heard too many horror stories and have had people close to me experience these horror stories. Every time a Friday passes and I can add another week to my term, I feel a little relief. I keep telling myself that if I can at least do this for a total of 23 weeks, than my pregnancy is considered viable, meaning that if the baby were born at 23 weeks, it could be kept alive with the help of today's technology. I obviously do not want that to happen, but if it had to, my baby would be OK. I try to seek comfort in talking to other moms about how their pregnancies went and what symptoms they experienced while being pregnant. I have come to the conclusion that it is impossible to compare pregnancies because they are as unique as the babies born of them. Even the women who went through multiple pregnancies can't seem to compare one to the other. Someone please tell me that you know for a fact that this baby will be OK and that I am just overreacting.