Early this afternoon, Dean and I were on our way out to go car shopping. The weather suddenly struck me. It was bright, sunny and about 80 degrees. And as dry as a tough piece of jerky. My lips chapped instantly, my nose became as dry as the damn weather and I began sweating uncomfortably because, of course, I didn't dress appropriate for such miserable weather. Yay! We get to go stand on the hot asphault of the car lots in this horrible weather. Then, when I thought it couldn't get any worse, it did. About half way down our walkway, Dean stopped, causing me to stop. He turned to inform me that he had left something in the house that he needed to go in to get. Great. That'll be another minute until we get into the comfort of an air conditioned truck. Jerk! Before going into the house, he looked down at my feet and said, "I can't believe what I'm seeing." I looked down and saw this little tail squirming beneath my feet. I quickly removed my foot and the first thing I saw was a tail, with no body attached to it, flopping around on the ground. My first thought was that I had stepped on a lizard's tail and he detached himself from it so he could scurry away. Of course I felt bad about this. But then I saw the lizard. He had been under my shoe along with his tail. I stepped on a lizard! How did I not see a lizard? I'm sure I would have if I hadn't been so focused on how miserable I was feeling. After lifting my foot, the lizard continued to stay right where he was. I began to worry about him. I knelt down to get a closer look at him. He didn't appear to have any bodily injury- no cuts, no blood, no flatness. I picked his tail up because it was creeping me out that it was still moving around so much. This tail had more life in it than the lizard himself. I just wanted to pick it up and put it in the bushes so I wouldn't have to look at it any longer. As soon as I picked it up, the tail swung it's way up around my thumb and started feeling around on my hand. Good God, this is so freakishly disguisting! So, I just dropped it back down. The lizard was still laying there. Meanwhile, Dean says, "Oh, I thought it was a worm." A worm. He said it as if I would have been upset at it being a worm. I said, "Why would I be so upset over a worm?" "I know how much you like worms." I fucking hate wroms! What the hell are you talking about? So, idiot stick walks back into the house to get what he needed, the thing that probably caused all this to happen, and I'm on the ground crying over this poor little lizard. I tried to pick him up, but he slowly ran away. I tried picking him up again, this time succeeding. He was abnormally calm. I petted him, turned him over to closely look for any injuries, and even gave him a little kiss. Don't say "ewww". He was so cute. You would have kissed him, too. I couldn't see or feel anything wrong with him. Still no visible cuts, no blood on the skin, no blood beneath the surface of the skin and no signs of any broken bones. I have taken classes in animal health care and I used to work in the ICU of a pet hospital, so I do know what to look for. So I set him down in the grass and watched as he snuggled down into it. I'm still worried that I may have killed him. I worried about him all day. What if he had a family? What if he was on his way home to the wife and kids? What if he was on his way home to his mom and dad? What if he was on his way to work at Geico Auto Insurance? This poor little guy was out, minding his own business, going on about his daily routine, when suddenly the horrible giant squished him. If his family is reading this, I am so sorry for stepping on your loved one. I tried to make sure he was OK and I pray he is still OK. I'm sorry and I promise that from now on, I will look at every inch of ground on which I step to avoid another tragedy. I honestly hope he is home with you, recovering from his near-death experience. Oh, and the flowers and the symapthy card should be there tomorrow. Poor little feller.
